


Bitter Confusion

by Houjuu



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon Colosseum & XD
Genre: F/M, Post canon, XDRivalshipping, how do a03 tags work im still asking myself htis, sorta angsty but ends in cutes, sorta cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 16:46:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13663146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houjuu/pseuds/Houjuu
Summary: It's already been a year since the Second Cipher Incident and Michael sits in his room alone, bitterly recalling his journey and the hardest part of being "a hero", but ends up remembering a precious moment with someone he should probably forgot.





	Bitter Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Who would have thought I had the capacity to write a fic with just MLW in it.
> 
> Here it is, my first fanfic I ever wrote. A few years ago I was really into Pokemon XD/Colosseum. I had way straighter shipping tendencies as I struggled with my own sexuality through that time in my life. This is the fic that pushed me into writing, this 2k fic that sat long dormant in my old fanfiction.net account that after a conversation with some friends about nostalgia I decided it was time to give it somewhere else to go.
> 
> This fic was based off of a Tumblr Prompt from an old RP friend using the phrase "did you see what I did."
> 
> I still love and appreciate XDRival and everything it brought to me from those years. Truthfully, after rereading this and laughing to myself and recently finding myself now detached from the LL that I've written strictly for over the last two years thanks to the bigotry that lives within its newest users, I think I want to revisit Michael and Lovrina in another fic sometime soon as well as other worlds I've long pushed aside in the mean time. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Michael laid back on his comfy sheets, staring at the small model planes that hung from his ceiling. He blinked slowly, and rolled over on his side, letting out a small breath of air. Another damn day. Another damn, dreary day that he mentally added to his calendar. A day he would spend all of his time with himself in the cold silence of his room, not even inviting his Espeon to sit at the foot of his bed. Just like the day of his father's sudden death three years ago, he would note this date for a long time.

The one year anniversary of the second Cipher takeover. It felt like the second Cipher incident had passed just only yesterday, not the long year that the days and nights counted down and equalled out to. Life hasn't been all that miserable. Michael's life has been generally at peace. If anything had been a problem for him, it was the challenge invitations or interview requests, but even that period of time has passed. For the dragging twelve months, the Cipher incident had been forgotten, repressed, and reminisced of. Most days, he was cheerful, he was happy, almost like nothing had ever happened, Michael was a normal teenage trainer. Some days, he feels as though there's dark thoughts that sit in the back of his head, things he struggles to remember, things he isn't sure he wants to remember. Then, there are the days, like today, every little detail is alive and well inside his conscious. The first few month or two were the worst of the year, with the constant news coverage and interviews, the challenges, not to forget everyone who wanted to know his life story. 

Not his actual life though, of course not, they wanted to know about "Snagger Michael", their newest superhero and his heroics. "Snagger Michael", the hero who stood up and made a difference, who wore not a cape but a large mechanical arm and the vest so bright even the desert's sun could be matched. This attention would give any other teen his age a thrill. He's in the spotlight, he is what is big and now, and best of it all, he's a hero people look up to. He's the biggest name in all of Orre, and will be for at least another year, shouldn't he be happy about that? It's funny, everyone else at HQ practically bathed in the idea that Cipher had disbanded and the Shadow Pokemon research came to another strong closure like six years ago. Hell, Krane and his mother had their work and the HQ broadcasted almost everywhere, it's a golden age for this small desert, a golden age for everyone except for him, well, for the most part.

He didn't want to think of himself as bitter, but he was. Sort of. He was sort of bitter over it all, bitter that he had to be the one to go in. That he had to survive, he had to battle, he had to conquer, and he did. Just like Wes, only Wes knew when to leave, Wes knew not to thrive in this attention for too long. Michael hadn't of thought that far ahead, he never thought of it as being such a large thing, to him it just happened one day on coincidence, the one day he tried the snag arm on for size. His life had changed. He didn't intend for that to happen. But as his life changed, so did he; he grew older, wiser, stronger as a person, and more connected with Pokemon then he had ever hoped to be. It was a good change, but it came with bad memories. Bad memories and something else that pulls at the edge of his conscious almost every day. With the few bad memories came good friends, his family, the Pokemon he grew so close to, and a safer place for everyone. It wasn't all bad. But it was still an exhausting experience for just one person, no matter how small. He'd learned so much from it all. But, at his age, when bad things happen, his instinct is still to ignore them. Despite that, something pulled the Cipher adventure back in.

He didn't ignore everything. He couldn't forget about everything either, especially not her.

He could hear the sounds of cheer outside his room, adults talking and laughing, Pokemon playing with children, general happiness but he still couldn't bring himself to join in. Michael was the hero, and his presence should be almost mandatory, but he couldn't, he couldn't bring himself to even stand. All he could do was lay. Lay alone and think. Remember. Perhaps remembering will gradually make it easier to forget. That painful trek through Orre, the long hard fights against peon after peon, it all changed him. With the easiest fights came times where it was life or death, Lugia and every Pokemon in the world's freedom or the rest of Orre to fall in the hands of a crippled old man and his twin sons. Into the hands of an ape-like man with a wrench too large for average use, a crazed politician obsessed with his billowing coat, and her.

The real reason he can't forget. She was something... different. Her intelligence, her bizarre elegance when she battles, her cute little antics and gestures, and her bold personality, though very childish and embarrassing sometimes, was strong-willed and hard to turn down any challenge. She sought to defeat him not only for her job, but for her work's sake and for herself. She was definitely different.

She was and still is the bright pink haired genius known as Lovrina. She oversaw all of the work that came out of the Shadow Pokemon Lab. She was the one who chose her Pokemon based on their appearance and elegance. She was the one who acted like one big, spoiled brat if things didn't go according to her plans, and that meant him. But there just was something about her. Who knew how old Lovrina was, she talked like a twelve year old, but her intellect was far beyond most people he'd ever met. She lived and breathed Pokemon science. She knew the inside and out of how a Pokemon thought, even something as uncontrollable as the legendary beast of the sea, Lugia. She helped invent the perfect shadow Pokemon, one of the biggest brains assigned to perfect the art of closing a Pokemon's mind and heart forever, impossible to purify. Almost like it was impossible for her to leave his mind. Despite all of her evil plans, her impossibly stubborn nature to side with Greevil and all of the hard work she put towards Cipher, she still invaded his thoughts. It's almost like her existence had been sealed into his heart and mind. The icing on the cake of it all is that she hated him.

Oh did she hate him. Sort of. All of his memories of her are mixed feelings. She screams at him and promises him that he'll fail and he'll never win, other times she tries to convince him to fight along side of her, benefit the Shadow Pokemon research. Maybe his brain is trying to make the little twinge on his heart over his stupid crush feel a little better.

Michael turned back over on his back and pushed his head back onto his pillow. He bit his lip and closed his eyes, recalling the last time they spoke.

It was on Citadark Island, post the defeat and surrender of Greevil, thanks to him with some help from Eldes, one of Greevil's children. Michael was exiting the volcanic research lab, taking long strides through the now abandoned island, carefully walking next to the pits of flowing lava and standing in silence, staring at his reflection in every elevator in silence, as speaking to himself would seem very out of place. As he had exited the final doorway, there she was, in all of her pink-haired glory, standing between him and the Kyogre hovercraft that led back to safety. She had been waiting for him. How curious. Maybe, she had finally seen error in her ways, error in Cipher. She didn't turn to acknowledge him, she just stared out past the craft when she first spoke.

"Just like that?" Michael frowned, sort of confused by her words, but she spoke again. "All of my work, gone, see ya later, just like that, all because of some little, red-haired, UGH."

At her last snap, she turned and faced him, her face a mixture of emotions. Anger, he knew that was directed at him, she even said as much, denial, because after all, how can someone who spoke of herself so highly ever fail, and sadness... but he could not think of why. Perhaps Cipher's disbanding? Her arrest for working closely with a criminal organization? He didn't know.

"Cipher was meant to collapse. The system was meant to fail because Pokemon deserve to say and do whatever they will, even if it's guided with the hand and kind words of a trainer. Trainers don't truly own and control Pokemon-" Michael tried to reason, stand his ground on his now shaking legs in front of this stubborn girl, but she just stepped closer until her face was just inches from him. He froze.

"Stop acting like you're some, like, old man who's seen and done it all. You're maybe like, thirteen at the absolute oldest. Just because you beat me doesn't mean you can speak to me like that! She backed away from his face, her expression still a mix of emotions, those bright green eyes staring into his own. "It was perfect, it was going to be the absolute most perfect plan in history! Didn't you see what I did?! I created the perfect shadow Pokemon, XD001 was my own work, I did all of that! I found how to make the most perfect Shadow Pokemon that no one, not even someone like you could purify! Greevil was oh so happy with me, but then thanks to you, I almost got, like, fired, even worse maybe!"

At this point in her rant, she had stepped even further back, turned away from Michael, and was flailing her arms around in her fit of anger, as if to add drama to her words, but it only served to make her look like what she was, childish. "Suddenly, you come along and everyone HATES me because I couldn't stop you first! Because apparently, killing children was in my job description! They were OBSESSED with stopping you, going out of their way to like, hurt you or throw you out of the way, hell, they debated the ways to KILL you because I was apparently too incompetent to hurt a boy, as if I'm like, some boy crazed nut! No one ever considered Snattle being too much of a wuss to so much as lay a finger on anyone, and Gorigan had as much of a shot as any of us but he got let off easy. Ardos and Eldes are just so perfect because they're Greevil's children, they couldn't ever fail, like, never in a million years! Apparently, it was just all my fault!"

Once again, Michael felt confused, and his frown tugged lower. God was she impossible. As if he didn't know they wanted him dead already, even Team Snaggem hated his guts and he was practically on their side. His ears felt trained on every word she roared, but the only words he could register pertained to something he pushed so far back into his mind, he could only hope it would fall out of his ears; his stupid little crush on her, and like that, all of his answers to her words dropped from his mind. He didn't want to argue with her. All Michael wanted to do at this point was leave.

"I'm fifteen, thanks." Those three words was all he could bring himself to say, before brushing past her towards the craft, a sinking feeling settled in his chest. God did he hate it. He hated this feeling, she was nothing but trouble, pure inconsiderate, childish, naïve trouble. The little shred of hope that he had for some reconcile was lost. Or was it.

"Wait just a second there, you! I wasn't done!" She tried to snap at him, but he waved her off and just kept walking down towards the pier.

"Well I am." Once again, Michael could only muster a short response, and by the time he reached the stairs, a hand grabbed his and jerked him backwards. He turned to face her, shocked and confused.

"I said I wasn't done." Lovrina's green eyes were burning right into his again, making him feel nervous once again; he could already feel his legs starting to shake, hoping it was from fatigue. Her tone this time though, was quieter, maybe even... gentle. "I thought I had you that second time, that there was like, no hope for you to ever touch my XD001, or Cipher ever, but you beat me again... I couldn't, I still don't like, believe it, I still cannot believe you defeated me!" Michael's frown only deepened, if that were even possible, and he tried to pull his arm from her grasp but her grip was firm and her eyes never left his. "You made me, like, so mad! So mad I punched out Snattle right in his smug little face, and stormed outside here, and sat. Sat forever and ever and ever, so mad at myself and everything around me, Lovrina never fails! I was so angry, so broken, so...ugh! I didn't even need to pay attention around me to know that you would snag XD001 and defeat Greevil, I just like, knew!" She then sighed, though softly. "... So thank you."

If Michael wasn't already confused, now he really was. "For what exactly? You just went off on me about Greevil, about Cipher, how your life sucks, and how I beat you twice..." At his words, Lovrina frowned lightly, the anger from her face had dropped with her thank you. Her grip lightened up, but Michael didn't pull away from her.

"Just... you win. Cipher fell, Cipher was going to fall, and I was...wrong. Just, like, accept it, alright? There's no strings, there's no like, bad stuff, nothing. I can't live my days out in a cell, because like, this pretty face wouldn't last a single day in something as dirty and icky as a cell, like, could you imagine?" He shouldn't have laughed at this comment, but he did. The effect this crazy girl had on him not even science could describe. She smiled slightly, just barely visible enough for Michael to catch a glimpse of. She released his arm. "I might be done with Cipher, but I'm still royally pissed off at you, boy, don't you like, ever forget that! That was my work you defeated, who gives any shit about Cipher! Who knows when my revenge will strike next, but when it does, you better, like, be ready, because you won't know what hit you! Plotting starts now!" She laughed after her declaration, then leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly, before smirking and turning around. What the hell had just happened. Heat rose to his face almost immediately after his brain piece together their encounter.

He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts and jumbled feelings. 

"It's Michael!" He shouted after her, and waited to see if she would respond. But his embarrassment got the better of him, and he turned around and practically fell down the pier to the Kyogre watership.

Looking back on it now, it wasn't one of his better moments. Far from it if he was going to be honest. But it was one of the better moments of the whole ordeal. 

A small smile still tugged at his face as he recalled it all. Slowly, his fingers moved up and touched the spot on his cheek where her lips once pressed. 

Maybe one day.


End file.
